MAN ABOUT TOWN

We all have them. For some people it might be reading trashy true-crime books; for others, Tim Tams, or the music of Britney 'trainwreck' Spears. For me, it's the reality TV program Big Brother . Cease your moaning; I know it's vacuous crap - that's the whole point! I also know that it's got progressively more dull and tedious year by year - which is why I'm going to be watching the launch show tonight, given that the producers seem to have finally cottoned on to the fact that their formula had become more than just a tad formulaic. Cue: shouting at the television, despairing at just how moronic some people are, and excitedly texting friends to share what knobs some of this year's crop of housemates are sure to be. I'm also hoping they bring back the voyeuristic pleasure which was Big Brother Uncut , but that's a whole other post unto itself...

Damn, my space bar keeps sticking. Possibly something to do with having slammed my fist into the keyboard in frustration on Thursday morning when Windoze kept freezing. Oh well, at least I managed to get the Return key back in place and working again. (As I said last night, it's been a shit of a week: I don't usually go around beating up innocent keyboards, honestly.) I think yesterday's Shiatsu session has unblocked quite a bit of emotion, judging by last night's grumpy post and how relaxed I feel this morning. And speaking of yesterday... Though I only caught the second half of the show, A Very Bella Christmas at Trades Hall last night was great fun, in an occasionally shambolic way. 'Not bad for a first rehearsal,' Mike McLeish muttered after he and musical chameleon Casey Bennetto had almost butchered then magnificently saved a Christmas carol or two. And a reggae version of 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' that segued into The Specials' 'A...

Over at AfterEllen.com (your handy guide to absolutely everything lesbionic on the small and silver screens) I've just learned about what surely must be the silliest concept yet for a reality TV series. Ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, I give you: Pirate Master . "Ok admit it," quoth one of the trailers for this new show, "everyone's dreamed of being a pirate some day, right? " Possibly when I was seven or eight, I suppose, but honestly? Not lately... "I'm going after that treasure. I'm down for that treasure hunt," says Ben, 23, a Boston student/musician.* Down for that treasure? Oh dear god. Or, to put it another way, 'Belay that! These swabs be addled, I tells ye, arg!' But can you guess what's worse? The true, stomach churning horror that lies hid beneath the saucy veneer of this, admittedly fun-in-a-silly-way program? IT'S HOSTED BY CAMERON DADDO !! Oh, the horror, the horror!! *Can you imagine the looks on his...

Cleaning out my spam folder, as is my periodical want, I discovered a media release advising me to FENG SHUI MY FRIDGE! "Your fridge needs to be organised and clean for the chi to flow unhindered, ensuring that it cannot become blocked and stagnant. All items over 6 months old should be thrown out and the inner shelves, drawers and walls of the fridge should be thoroughly cleansed of spills and any lingering bacteria." Try and guess where this media release originated... "Once sparkling clean, the fridge then needs to be packed with foods nourishing to the body. It is essential the food we eat is full with vital chi to bring a healthy balance and harmony to our bodies. Fill your fridge with lucky foods like fish and chicken for a prosperous 2007." I particularly love the combination of practical energy with feng shui advice, as typified by this next paragraph. "Red is the luckiest colour, symbolising fire to drive away the bad luck – so storage containers and ...